Prices are just a label on things that people look at, memories and moments with people, places you visited or maybe just a relaxing day at home may be some of the most valued moments in life.
It’s the first day of winter all I can thing about is snow! The excitement builds inside me as I think about the magical flakes of snow come falling down. I look out of my living room window still no sign of any; I have a feeling in my stomach that it will start at any second. I wait a little long sitting on my big plush living room couches every few moments looking out the window for snow, while is sit in front of a roaring fire warming my cold toes........ And then out of nowhere I notice something fall, again and again! I get up off of the coach quickly as possible run to my front door swing it open and see millions of intricate flakes falling. I shut the door with a “slam” and dart up the stairs to my room grab my boots and jacket and put them on while I run out of the house. And into a soon to be winter wonderland.I spin in circles with my tongue out trying to catch each little flurry in my mouth failing many times because of my hot breath. Except in this moment I do not have a care in the world. It feels like I was whisked away into a beautiful white winter wonderland and I never want to come out.
Up,Up and away the chiar picks me up and brings me up higher ,i lower the meatal put my board up on the pole below me and im on my way to a great ride. I finnal get off the chair life my board touches the hard packed down snow, I tighten my bindings and now im set, down the mountain I glide. I feel the brisk winter air in my face my google protecting me as much as they can, my snowboard and me work as one as feel the soft powder underneath me. I finnal reach the bottom of the mountain smile ti myself and think in my head this is going to be a great day! If i was going to put a value on something that means something to me it would have to be my snowboard. My "Burton Feel Good" is probably the best board to me, white at the top with a rainbow of colors on the bottom, "Burton carved in wood at the top. The moment i first noticed the board in the store i knew it was the one. I am not sure if it was the color or the fact that it was the last one in my size. Both of these two reason make this my most value posetion to me.
Yes,both of my finacial and memoriable posetions have to do with snow but that is because i cherish the one time of year we see it. My snowboard brings me everlasting entertainment on the weekends with my freinds, family and every so often I meet new people because this winter time activity. The first snow fall brings me so much excite me and makes me so happy, it resembles the begining of winter and fun for me. Memories last a life time.......
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Emily is saying that maybe the valuable things in life should be simple moments or places you've been that left an impression on you. She also says that a price tag on something does not make it valuable. The monetary thing she values is her snowboard. The priceless moment she values is the first snow.
ReplyDeleteI thought her two values were described really well. The sentence I like in her first snow paragraph is, "The excitement builds inside me as I think about the magical flakes of snow come falling down." The sentence I like in her snowboard paragraph is: "...white at the top with a rainbow of colors on the bottom..."
I thought one of the strengths of the essay was the conclusion. I liked how you said that they were both related to snow and you explained why. I also liked how you explained why you value them.
The only suggestion I have is to add to your introduction. It's only one sentence. Other than that, I loved your essay.
I. Emily says that things with a price tag shouldn't be valued as much as time spent with family or firends. She values her snowboard, and the first snowfall of the season.
ReplyDeleteII. I think Emily did a good job describing things. However, I think the first snowfall is described more vividly. "...millions of intricate flakes falling." I think this sentence really paints a picture in my mind.
III. A strength of the essay was the conclusion, Emily did a good job tying both things she values together and how they both have to do with snow.
IV. I have two suggestions for Emily: 1. Proof read! There were alot of mispelt words, and grammar mistakes. So I recommend editing it. 2. I would suggest adding to your introduction. You make some good points but I would add to them and really grab your readers attention.
What the authors is saying not everything that is valuable has a price. She is also saying that somethings that people take for granite could be something valuable. I agree with her that not everything has to have a price on it. For example she said a peaceful day at home and that doesn't have a price.
ReplyDeleteThe two things she values is her snowboard and the first snow of winter. I like how she described getting of the chair lift.I liked the way she described how the snow was packed down tight, too. Also she built up some suspense when she was waiting to get off the chair lift.
I think one of the strengths of the essay was the writing style. The authors style of writing was like you were her getting off the ski lift and about to go down the mountain. Also how she described a lot sounds you would here like the snow crunching when the weight of the board compresses on the board.
A piece of advice that i would give Emily is she needs to add to introduction and more about how she feels on what things are worth based on value. Overall it was a good essay though.